The thought of life without my husband was unbearable. It’s a pain that is hard to put into words. My heart felt like it was in a million pieces. I remember lying there in shock with my hand on the chest of my sweet dog, Harley. One breath at a time, I felt his chest rise and fall beneath my hand. He was helping me breathe. He never left my side. 

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I had my faith, and I knew God was going to help me through this, but I also knew it was going to be a long, hard road. Trauma. Anxiety. Overwhelm. Fear. PTSD. Grief. Those were just a few of the things I was experiencing after the accident. And then there was the shame I felt for sometimes hating my own breath. Why did I have to be the one who survived? Why did I have to be the one left here to feel all of this pain? I cried a lot. I prayed a lot. I drank protein shakes because eating felt impossible, and I slept—a lot. But even in the middle of all that pain, something had already been set in motion. God had placed breathwork on my heart the year before. As I prayed for guidance about breathwork, He led me to Brian and 9D Breathwork.  The following February, I experienced my first 9D journey: “Letting Go.”  I was blown away by what my body was able to release during that 80-minute session. By the end of that journey, I knew:

 

This is what I’m supposed to do with my life. I’m supposed to help people heal. I signed up for the facilitator training the very next day. That was the easy part. The hard part was still to come—the healing.  9D met me at ground zero. I had the opportunity to experience the power of breathwork firsthand, at a time when I desperately needed a way to move through everything my mind and body were carrying. 

 

My life became my testimony.

 

Breathwork not only helped me work through the trauma surrounding the accident; it also helped me begin releasing emotions I had carried and suppressed for years. I learned what it felt like to come out of survival mode and begin reconnecting with a sense of safety in my body. 

 

Little by little, I got my life back.

 

I learned how to drive again without being consumed by fear and anxiety. I began eating again. I opened my heart back up to life. I allowed myself to love again. And I learned one of the most important lessons of my life:

 

Joy and pain can exist together.

 

Life can be incredibly hard. I know that now in a way I never wanted to know. But I also know that when life gets hard, I have tools to help me move through it.  I know how to breathe through it. That is why The Deep Breath Reset Studio means so much to me. I did the healing. I did the training. And I am incredibly proud to be a certified 9D Breathwork facilitator and to now hold space for others who may be carrying things they’re ready to release.

 

I will always carry a great love for my husband, Matt. That love will always be a part of me.

 

Harley is still right by my side, and he’s very happy that I’ve graduated from protein shakes back to eating actual bacon again.